FASCISM AGAIN?

I can’t help but worry about the recent developments taking place in Italy. Not just because it’s not that far away from Malta but that it’s also part of the European Union. I’m of course writing about the recent rise of Silvio Berlusconi to power. And the silence about some of his policies...

Indeed, as I write, a large number of gipsy immigrants are being persecuted. Many have been living in Italy for a large number of years. Effectively, non-Italian immigrants are being blamed for many of Italy’s problems. The high crime rate for example.

To me, Berlusconi is following in the footsteps of fascism but only few people seem to be worried about this or even seem to care.

The fact is that this persecution of minorities can be said to be a way of distracting Italians from the real problems and instead finding a scapegoat for all social ills.

One of the reasons is that Berlusconi is also the owner of three major television stations in Italy – which means he has considerable power and influence on the Italian public. Over here in Malta, we do get “Berlusconi’s” channels (Canale 5,Italia 1 and Rete 4) and, I admit, I have followed them since childhood. However, this xenophobic policy aimed to rid Italy of ‘non-Italians’ has made me wonder about the things I have consumed over the years. In addition, I wouldn’t want to keep backing the man – even indirectly. You should read an interesting article on Berlusconi’s new fascism written by an Italian Ignacio Ramonet, which should set people in Europe seriously thinking about this new development in Italy.

I have read about the rise of fascism in Italy before the war. Unfortunately, it seems that it may happen again. The fact that it has already happened in the 1930s with Mussolini doesn’t mean it won’t happen again. But perhaps today the stakes are even higher as we enter into a new globalise world were those who control the media may also control the world.. then, we might forget all about human rights
to begin with!

THE JOURNEY BEGINS (AND CONTINUES) ...

Yesterday was one of those days when I have to go for a medical checkup at hospital. Thankfully, these days are very rare but the experience has improved considerably over the past. Not that I'm keen on going to hospital for a visit. The moment I set foot, err wheels, there it feels like you've entered into another dimension. Now that we have a new hospital, the experience can even be more surreal. After all, there you may find a high concentration of wheelchair users and, of course, elderly people who use wheelchairs but insist they're not 'disabled'!

Yes, you read that last one right. As I was waiting for my ophthalmic appointment, an old man on a wheelchair was being brought in the waiting room. Once he stopped near the seats, he told the lady pushing him that she could take the wheelchair back as he could walk and didn't need it any more. Granted, it was true. He proceeded to sit down using his walking stick and waited like the rest of us. To be honest, if I had been in his position a few years ago, I might have done the same thing. Indeed, I think I might have protested that I didn't 'need' the wheelchair because of the fear of being identified as a disabled person. I should have seen myself then ... today. I fear I wouldn't have approved that much...

The fact is that there are so many bad things associated with disability... I've heard a couple over the last week or two. But the saddest one is when you hear disabled people describe themselves as 'sufferers'. Granted, medical conditions such as my own do involve a certain degree of physical pain (currently it's under control). However, I do not want to define myself as a 'sufferer' for the simple reason my life is not all about pain. In fact, pain is just one tiny aspect of who I am.

Don't start me on that or I'll inflate my ego... anyway, my doctor gave me a clean bill of health (within what is 'normal' for me) whilst I have to make some important decision over my right eye's future... so that's that!

Well, besides my work and the daily routine to distract me, there's also my new blog. In fact, I have started posting on my new blog Cosmos Online. It was hard designing the layout and all that for this blog but thanks to some features of blogger, I can now prepare the posts to be published over the weekend and only update the contents page once in a while.

No, I don't want to start discussing the technicalities of writing a blog. It's not the purpose of this space. Although, on second thoughts, isn't stress bad for me?

MOTHER’S DAY AND MY ‘CHILD

’

It’s soon the end of another weekend and, believe me, I needed some rest this week! Before I start this post entry, I would like to wish a happy mother’s day to all the mothers who are reading this blog! If you’re wondering, I already wished my mother all the best for this year… so there.

Truth be told, I do admire the work mothers carry out daily and the sacrifices that they often do for us (their children!). I cannot fail to mention the problems some mothers face, particularly disabled mothers, when it comes to wanting to take care of their own children (let alone the obstacles they face in choosing to be mothers) . I am aware of many court cases in which mothers are denied the right to bring up their own children because they have an impairment. We cannot forget that these are mothers too and that it’s not a question of ‘protecting’ their own children as some would put it but rather an excuse for taking control over the lives of mothers who have a right, as any other woman, to have childran

Of course, tied to this right many take for granted is the right for proper support structures to make such a thing a reality. I don’t have children myself, and I will never be a mother, but I have often been faced by disabling attitudes when it comes to disabled people and reproduction. Aside from the idea that we “shouldn’t create more of our own kind” (whatever that means), there are no real role models of disabled parents on local media and I have never seen any disabled mother (or father) being presented on mainstream TV we get from abroad. So there’s a thought.

The moments I share with my nephews remind me of the precious gift of life that every child represents. Besides the silly stuff they force you to do! And, indeed, mothering is about children. But more than that. You don’t have to be a natural mother to be a mother. The same can be said of being a father. So, today I want to remember and thank all those women, who even if they were not my natural mother, were there when I needed them. Even if my own mother cannot be replaced!

Speaking of mother’s day, I have had a ‘child’ so to speak. OK, before turning white with horror (especially you mum!) I had ‘created’ a character Namuh in my teenage years. Over the end of the week, I was toying with the idea of presenting ‘him’ to a wider audience. I had already talked about this elsewhere and in fact his account can be found in my book Cosmos, I have decided to post it on a blog I created especially for this purpose. So, if you’ve got time you might want to visit it at COSMOS ONLINE.

Left: The picture I designed for Cosmos Online...

Yes, it is currently in the initial stages but I should kick off posting the actual story sometime this week. Well, that’s all for now. Once again, happy celebrations!

UNITED NATIONS CONVENTION COMES INTO FORCE !

Centre: Flag of the United Nations

Well, at long last, the UN Convention Rights of Disabled Persons comes into force today... It' s been a long process that started off in 2001 and it's positive news!! We've arrived at this stage after the 20th country (Ecuador) ratified it on April 3.

Lately, I had to get acquainted with what the difference between ratification and signing a Convention were. Whilst signing indicates that a member state agrees with the principles of any Convention, by ratifying it the member state would have committed itself to make the changes required to make the
principles an actuality.

There are two main things I like about the Convention:

1. It recognises that disability is not simply a product of biology but is mainly caused by social/environmental factors.

2. It acknowledges the social, economic, civil and political rights of the 260 million disabled people living around the world.

I've found a lot of useful information on the net about the Convention and how organisations may help promote its ratification if the country they live in hasn't as yet ratified itt. One such tool is one provided by Disabled People International called the Ratification Toolkit.

Now, some may think that the Convention is meant to give disabled people new rights. However, in truth, the Convention is only guiding countries into how best to ensure that disabled people are really given their rights in society. In this sense, disabled people were often absent when countries reported about their human rights records. One of the reasons may have been that our problems have often been seen as individual and medical, and have only relatively recently been seen in terms of interactions between biology and society.

Currently, Malta is only a signatory to this historic Convention and of course I'll be doing my part to urge the Maltese parliament to ratify it. In that way, disabled people in Malta (like me!) may look forward to a better future and greater equality.

However, I am cautiously optimistic about the results of the Convention. True, it signifies a positive step forward for disabled people worldwide but we shouldn't forget that the UN had issued its International Bill of Human Rights after the Second World War and even today we know of human right abuses. Similarly, the entry of treaties such as that against discrimination against women or on racial discrimination doesn’t mean that the world has achieved equality between the sexes or between peoples.

I know that I may be a bit cynical here … but my point is that the UN Convention itself cannot be said to be the solution to inequality but rather the beginning of a journey to attaining equality of disabled people. In this, world governments, we as disabled people and non-disable people need to help make equality possible...

PS: Many of the links point to the pages found on the DPI ratification toolkit which also provides a good description of the UN's history and existing international law.

IT'S EYE AGAIN

I don't know what has happened to me over the last week or so. Not that I lost my memory or anything but I had to take a break from this blog and concentrate on my work. And on my life in general.

I've been having eye problems again and this must have made me unsure of myself in many ways. I did wish that I could get back to having no problems and yet, I felt that I was somewhat not being true to my principles. After all, I had been blind for 3 years before I regained my sight, so I shouldn't have any problem if I returned to being blind again would I? The answer is not as simple as I hoped. It was yes and no.

Yes, because I knew that my life then was a good life. True, there were some things I had problems with and others that I just couldn't do. However, I was still able to continue writing and studying. I even started lecturing and doing sessions at schools and other institutions when I had acquired a visual impairment. Indeed, I could still continue doing my current work without too many problems since I still use screen reading software to spare my vision.

But then there were reasons when I felt the answer was 'no'. I had got used to returning to my previous life. To a time when I loved to 'see' things and to writing in my own handwriting notes and other things. It was also nice to be able to see how my nephews were like (prior to 2006 I had never 'seen' them). Of course, I cannot avoid mentioning having the opportunity to meet friends who were only 'faces' based on the sound of their voice.

I think I can better understand how it feels like to move from having no impairment to acquiring one - perhaps more than I did in 2003 when I lost my sight. It's perhaps funny how now that I regained it and risk losing it again I have become more protective of my vision. I cannot deny that there are emotional elements to the experience of acquiring an impairment - even if it's a case of regaining an old one. Even if my eye specialist has assured me that it's not anything serious and to be expected at this stage, I am still a bit concerned.

The fact is that it may get better or worse and surgery may be considered again in the future. I am willing to do my part to help myself. After all, I don't think it's wise to discard any medical advice at this stage. However, I have to say that I must find the strength to accept whatever the future may bring.

Indeed, as I had no problem with myself as a physically disabled person when I was young, I should feel that who I am should not be conditioned by any impairment I might acquire or regain. Not that I won't change the way I live or say that this won't have an effect on my future choices. Any transition will have that impact. On the other hand, I want to take it as it comes and recognise that this experience in itself - whatever the outcome - is an opportunity to learn about myself.

For a start, I was surprised by my own thoughts and feelings on my recent eye problems. But I think that I need to look back once again and consider that life just is. Whether I become blind or not, and whatever impairments I may acquire,
the fact is that I'm still
who I am and the issues I have fought for remain valid as ever.

AN EYE-DENTITY CRISIS

I’ve got to admit that I never expected to be writing this post so early on after my eye operation back in 2006. It is also difficult to put my thoughts and feelings into words. That explains why I have not updated my blog for a while. The fact is that my right eye seems to be developing problems that are impairing my vision. Yes, I’ve been through the process before in both eyes and I know what to expect. I started having problems with my central vision and the signs of a cataract forming are all there.

I have gained a lot of understanding of my eye condition thanks to the internet. And I was aware of this risk. But that doesn’t mean that I’m not scared and rather anxious about the future. Needless to say, I’m trying to do my best to do anything possible to save my only good eye. After all, if further damage can be halted or any remedial action taken, I’m willing to try. I know that this sounds like contradicting what I believe to be disability as defined by the social model.

However, even if I believe that disability is largely socially created, the fact remains that this doesn’t mean that we should not be taking our medicine or any action that has a realistic chance of addressing issues related to the body. In that, I wish to emphasize the word ‘realistic’. For instance, the reason that I protested against doing physiotherapy or surgery on my legs as a child and teenager was because I knew that it would really be a cosmetic intervention. And by that time, I had got used to my legs (most of the time at least).

Of course, I’m aware of the things that will need addressing if I go blind again. I have lived like that for three years of my life already. I cannot deny that I’ll be missing some things such as seeing my nephews grow, seeing the faces of my friends and loved ones change, and taking photos or even doodling with my pen when I’m bored. At the same time, I know that I have to adapt and go on with my life and work. I know that I shouldn’t let this experience change who I am – even if it will have an effect on how I perceive reality. It will also change how I do things.

I do worry about the future when things like these happen. I did so when I first went blind. And the second time is not easier than the first. The only similarity is that the physical signs are the same but the experience is greatly different. And you have the benefit of experience. And then, I ask myself whether this will affect my aspirations and hopes for the future. Will I be able to raise a family in the future? Or continue with my plans to live on my own? As my life situation is changing and I’m unsure of what will happen next, I do not yet have any answers here.

Anyway, I will have a better idea of what will happen on Wednesday as I have set an appointment with my ophthalmologist. I will take it from there. At least, I can still go on blogging I guess. Let’s see what happens, or should that be ‘observe’, err... ‘Witness’ … dah… you got what I mean!

INSPIRE ME, PLEASE!

I was suffering from a bad case of writer's block over the last week which left me without creative energy to post anything here. Alright, I did write other things for my work - but unlike this blog, work gives me some financial return - enough to keep my web connection going. So, it is rather strange to be thought of as 'inspirational' to other people... of course, because you're disabled!

This was one of the reasons I had the block I guess. It was after I was caught up in a line of thought centering around the question of whether it was OK to be thought of as 'inspirational' ... again, when you're also disabled. I have discussed this on the BBC Ouch! message board, with friends, and looked over some writings on this subject. I have good reason to feel ill at ease when people describe disabled people, particularly ones who have done something deemed 'extraordinary' as inspirational:

1. Inspirational implies that disabled people who have made it are proof that those who haven't 'made it' in life are a lazy bunch of people.

2. Calling us 'inspirational' detracts society from taking responsibility of the changes it requires to make for our inclusion, such as providing accessible buildings/information/etc.

Of course, I cannot deny that when a news reporter interviewed me way back in 1997, he described me as an 'inspirational young man', I was flattered and felt sort of 'better' than other disabled people. However, what this did was nothing more than create in me a sense of false security in the sense that in order for me to be recognised as a worthy individual, I had to 'prove' myself all the time.

Needless to say, I am now convinced that being called 'inspirational' by people who do not know me personally often implies that they assume that the fact I'm working and studying with the many impairments I have involves a great act of courage and bravery. In other words, I am accepted because I am seen as trying to overcome my accredited impairments.

In fact, I concur with the many views that were expressed in the BBC Ouch board. Some noted that impairment wasn't a choice they made and they're just trying to get along in life like anyone else. Even if there are many obstacles that are not impairment-related which can make life harder than it has to be!

I am not saying that there haven't been disabled people in my life or in history that could be called 'inspirational'. Paul Hunt, for instance, springs to mind. Hunt had an insight into the way society was actively excluding him as a person with a physical impairment and he did something about it... He helped in the formation of what was the Union of the Physically Impaired Against Segregation (UPIAS) and provided the foundations of what was to become the 'social model' of disability.

Yet, Paul Hunt isn't an inspirational figure to me because he was a person with an impairment but because he had the vision of a more inclusive society and took steps to make it a reality. Extraordinary as they may be, accounts of disabled people who have climbed mountains or sailed around the world ... err... are 'irrelevant' to me as Tim, in the latest BBC ouch! close-up interview states when asked about disabled mountain climbers:

"Disabled mountain climbers are ... Exceptional people but they are as relevant to my experience as able-bodied mountain climbers are to the average non-disabled person."

READ THE FULL INTERVIEW

Indeed, do I want to be thought of as 'inspirational' just because I seek a better quality of life? Do I want to be called fancy names and yet discover that, in all my assigned greatness, I can't still use public transport without problems? On the other hand, if I demand my rights to be respected, you get resistance from people and suddenly become a 'radical' or even a 'troublemaker'! No, neither of these things were used in my face but I can't discount having been referred to in this way behind my back ... um...

Finally, the word 'inspirational' is simply not telling us the whole story. Do you think I would have achieved my current status without the support of my family? Do you honestly think that friends, co-workers, etc. weren't involved in my current achievements? Do you think it simply requires a change of attitude or a strong will to get from A to B? This is not saying that some personal effort doesn't help, but that this is only a part of the truth.

The fact that some disabled seem, for certain non-disabled people, to have achieved a lot is only because there are still a lot of misinformation about what it is like to be disabled. It's not a matter of personal resolve or choice to get on in life but it's the only way to go. The alternative would be for me to either invest my time and energy into 'fixing' my body which i won't do because it isn't broken, or sulking at home because I come to believe I am afflicted by tragedy. And, even if that's sometimes tempting, it would be plain silly ...

Undeniably, it also depends on who is telling me that I'm inspirational - it is one thing to be told by a friend who has known you for years and it's another thing being told this by the postman you've just met. It also depends on the context and the way it has been put. This is so you don't run off with the impression that it's always a wrong thing to say. Indeed, disabled people who have achieved change for others - as I already stated - can be inspiring.

On the other hand, it's important to be aware of the biases that might be underlying your remark. Ask yourself, whether it would be equally inspirational of me to do the work I do if I had been non-disabled... and at that, what do you think is making it difficult for me ... if your answer to this is my impairment... read this post all over again, please.

I've noticed that all this talk of inspirational-ity has helped me unblock my writing ... that's a relief!